no sticks, no seeds

I can't figure out how to embed this, but I saw it during my party preparations last week and meant to post a link then. It's Snoop Dogg on the Martha Stewart show. Making brownies. Yep, it's basically awesome. Here's the link.

hello old friend

So, the holidays have taken a toll on me. That's the official excuse I'm using to explain my absence. The holidays have taken a toll on me. Or, I took too much on during this holiday season and couldn't fit it all in. Whatever.

But, last night something happened that is definitely blog-worthy. I locked myself out of my apartment. At 6:45 on a Sunday night. I hadn't showered, washed my face or brushed my teeth (or hair) since the night before. And, I was wearing yoga pants, running shoes, a seahawks sweatshirt and a puffy vest, not exactly an outfit I want to hang out in anywhere other than my living room. I was working a low-grade mostly exhaustion driven hangover all day and was finally rallying myself to go to the store to get something to eat. Luckily, I remembered my phone. Unfortunately, I knew that my friend who has one of my keys was busy at the (burlesque) nutcracker (I really hope, and forgot to ask, that they made the obligatory nutcracker, I hardly know her joke.) Anyway, I called her cell and then called her at home and left desperate messages. I then called my parents to complain. I then texted her, then walked down to the movie theater, got 7:15 tickets for Brothers (which was good, btw), then texted her again and again and again. I may have left another message as well.

Here are the texts that I sent:

Message 1:
To friend w/keys (FWK) - So, I think I locked myself out of my apartment. Can you call me when you get this message?
[No response, I think she was in the Nutcracker]
Message 2:
To FWK - So, I'm definitely locked out. I can see my keys. Anyway. Can you call me when you geth this? I'll come anywhere to meet you to borrow my key from you. Thank god we exchanged keys!
Message 3:
To FWK - Totally feel like an idiot btw.
Message 4:
To FWK - And a stalker.

Apparently my friend looked at her phone after the show and was like, 2 messages and 4 texts? Wha? After the movie, I was like where can I go now? At this point it was like 9ish and I had decided that if I didn't hear from her by 10:30 that I would call a locksmith. I decided that I could go to the diner that's in my neighborhood, and that if I sat at the bar my appearance wouldn't be too embarrassing. So, I called my folks and they looked up a locksmith for me. I made one last attempt at my friend's home number, in case she missed the message there and the 2 on cell and 4 texts. But, as I was leaving a message she called, was on her way home, where I met her and then she took me home & let me into my apartment. While I should be all zen and all's well that end's well, mostly I keep thinking it is the most wonderful time of the year. But, at least I'm thinking that from the comfort of my dry, heated apartment.

say it, clay. say it.

I just realized that after getting home and before starting the wreath I decided not to use the ribbon that I bought at Michael's. As my man Clay Davis would say, sheeeeeeeeit.

nothing left to lose?

I think I might have actually done it. I might be done with going to Michael's for the foreseeable future. All day long I kept thinking, I'll get the effing glue gun and then I'll be free. Free of the disorganized, full of crap, place that smells like fake cinnamon and (real) straw. Free. Free of informed staff people who are always milling about, not really doing anything other than avoiding my eye contact when I'm clearly hovering trying to ask where the hell hot glue guns are. Free.

Then, I read design*sponge this morning and there was a tutorial on how to make a rosette wreath. Yeah, I was this close (my thumb and pointer finger are very close) to actually begin the planning stages on it. But, then I thought better. Victory.

Then, I went back later to see if there were any new posts. Damn those crafty (as in clever, not necessarily diy crafty) geniuses over at design*sponge. Check out these ornaments. They really don't look that hard. And, that's the line that gets me into trouble. As in, seriously Mom, an ornament wreath would take me no time at all. It would be easy. So far, I'm staying strong. And, I'm free.

my new hangout

Guess who's going to Michael's again tomorrow? Yes, that's right. I am lucky enough to get to inhale the sweet, faux cinnamon scent of crafting again tomorrow. All because I was so confident in my craftiness and volunteered to take on a project for my mom. Here's a rundown:

Trip #1 - Needed to buy new wreath form that I think would work better, also bought goo gone (for myself), ribbon to wrap around the wreath form and two awesome bird clippy-type ornaments for my own tree.

Trip #2 - Realize that the glue gun that my mom gave me for the project is missing the part that keeps the batteries in place, so I buy new glue gun. Also bought some ornaments to supplement the ones that my mom bought.

What will be Trip #3 - Bought different size glue gun and hot glue sticks (seriously). So, I have to return the glue gun to get the right size gun for the sticks. Also, the ornaments that I bought don't match, so I'm returning those as well.

God help me if I have to make Trip #4. It's honestly starting to scare me. I'm now finding all sorts of weird crafty things cute. Seriously, Robyn, step away from the glittery candle holders. Just put it down and no one will get hurt.

today, now with more awesome

Today just got better. I got to go Michael's and not one, but two Targets. Really, really jealous now, right? Yeah, this is after going to both on Friday. See, I finally bought a lamp (lamp!) on Friday, but got it home and it was chipped. So, back to Tar-jay it went, but the one I returned it to didn't have any. So, off to Target #2. Shiiiiit.* Two Targets in one day. Living the dream indeed.

*So, I've obviously been watching a lot of The Wire lately. I've noticed that at least two characters (Norman Wilson and Clay Davis) say shit in a really distinctive, basically awesome way that I've decided to appropriate. It's basically going to be the wha? of 2010. Shiiiit. Here's a clip (and there are a ton of links to remixes of this and other shiits).

living the dream

So, i didn't post last night. I was supposed to go to bed early so that I could be up at the ass-crack of dawn and get to work early. Really early. So, yeah I was up at and out of my apartment by 5:30 (don't be jealous yet), and at my desk furiously working some excel magic by 6:30 (keep holding that jealousy). I'm pretty sure you could see smoke coming off of my keyboard from my mad formulating skills (again, just hold the jealousy for one more second). So, yeah, I was basically living the dream this morning, you know if the dream is to work at a psychiatric hospital and to be there before even God is awake, working in excel. (Oh, Lord, I hope that's not the dream.)

Oh, and all that work I did this morning, and late last Friday, and this weekend? Just got thrown out the window. Now you can be jealous.

s-a-t-u-r-d-a-y night!

The wire and wine. Oh, Saturday night, you and me have a good thing goin' on.

like I was walking onto a yacht...

This is a (terrible picture from my phone of a) descriptor for a Christmas card you can purchase at Target. I don't know if this makes me vain, but I feel like I might be "someone special funny." As long as I'm not someone "special" funny.

pretty

So, I'm probably the only person that's annoyed by this, but I obviously missed a couple of days of posting around Thanksgiving. In my defense, I was out of town and I don't have a laptop so I didn't bring my computer. That's a pretty shallow defense since I was visiting my sister and I'm pretty sure that between her and my brother-in-law they have 3 computers and he has a work computer (i think), plus my parents were staying there as well and my dad had his computer. Yeah, my dad travels with a laptop and I don't, he also has a smart phone and I don't. We buck generational stereotypes in my family. He can probably use woot in a sentence too.

Anyhow, my point is I could have borrowed a computer to post, but I was really tired every night having spent a lot of time with family, which takes more energy than my usual days (especially the short people in the family, although they are much cuter than the rest of us). But, I'm going to make up for it. This weekend. Here's my plan: I'll post the requisite number of posts to fill in the gaps. Those posts will include a 'what I'm thankful for' post, and a 'how did I do with my resolution' post. Plus, I'm planning a 'do I have new goals for December' post. Plus, a post to explain the picture in this post. I like the plan. What do you think?

honk if you need a new license plate holder

This morning on my way to work I followed a car with a license plate holder that read, My other car is a Hot Wheel. On my way home from work I followed a car with a license plate holder that read Jennifer on the first line Tom's Woman on the second line. (I tried to take a picture with my cell but you couldn't read the text.)

1) These people are old enough to own cars and this is what they are broadcasting to the world.
2) I'm kind of surprised Jennifer is allowed to drive a car. Not surprisingly it was a mini-van. Tom must need her to drive around his kids.

I feel sad for both the hot wheeler and Jennifer.

oh, and 3) If you google "My other car is a hot wheel" you can find a flickr profile that's dedicated to photographing hot wheels. Really.

swimming in fits and starts

I went swimming tonight after work. It was not pretty. First, some background. I am not a graceful person. Whatever athletic skill I have comes from a mix of height, strength, and pure will. Basically, I can run because I decide that it's going to happen. My great skill when I played soccer was that when I got myself between an opposing player and their goal, I could probably overpower her (knock her down) while going for the ball. I used similar skills playing flag football in college. So, yeah, it's not natural grace and athleticism that's getting me through runs or workouts. That is, except for swimming. I've always felt much, much, much, more graceful in the water. As in, I've felt at all graceful. Until tonight.

At my gym they have these laminated workouts that you can use to guide your swims. It's great, they're 2000-3500 yards design to take you about an hour. They totally take me longer than hour. Usually, I grab the workouts that are basically freestyle with a little bit of other strokes for balance. Tonight, I decided that I would go outside my comfort zone and do one of the IM heavy workouts. Here's what I look like doing the fly for more than one pool length: a floppy swimmer propelling themselves across the pool by seizure. It was not pretty. But don't worry it also took a long time, cause I'm slow. Turns out having a 25 yard fit isn't the quickest way to move down the lanes. And, I easily hit my wrist on the lane divider 15 times. I'd kind of forgotten that I had permanent lane divider bruises on my wrists for the four years I was in high school. It also turns out that you can make it through a 2200 yard workout by flopping your way back and forth across the pool. And that's knowledge you can take to the bank.